With everything that has happened with Ashton I sometimes feel that I have lost my life. My days now consist of feeding him, pumping so I can feed him later, washing all the bottles, changing diapers, and battling him to take naps. Then we start all over :) Because he is a little fussy we have a hard time going to church or to a restaurant and I really didn't even want to go camping because I didn't know if he would do alright but I am realizing more and more that we have to continue to live our lives and he will be ok. If he's not then we pack up and go home but I don't want to live my life worrying about how Ashton will react. I just want to do things and find out. He is getting bigger and handling things a lot better. He loves to be outside so luckily camping was a success and I hope we have more camping trips like this one!
Monday, July 29, 2013
First Camping Trip!!
We took Ashton on his first camping trip to Lava Hot Springs and we had an amazing trip. Derek's family all met up at the KOA campground and we had fun swimming, relaxing, and eating! The first night we got there pretty late so we stayed in John and Judy's trailer. Ashton did great- didn't even wake anyone up! The next day we got up and made breakfast and Derek and I took Ashton to the pool. We weren't sure how he would do but he LOVES baths so we figured he wouldn't mind the water too much. He did amazing in the pool- he smashed with his arms and kicked his legs. He is very content in the water and he absolutely loves to be outside! The second night we pitched our tent and spend a somewhat long night there! He woke up a few more times but not too bad. Overall we had an amazing time with Derek's family and Ashton survived and really enjoyed his first camping trip.
With everything that has happened with Ashton I sometimes feel that I have lost my life. My days now consist of feeding him, pumping so I can feed him later, washing all the bottles, changing diapers, and battling him to take naps. Then we start all over :) Because he is a little fussy we have a hard time going to church or to a restaurant and I really didn't even want to go camping because I didn't know if he would do alright but I am realizing more and more that we have to continue to live our lives and he will be ok. If he's not then we pack up and go home but I don't want to live my life worrying about how Ashton will react. I just want to do things and find out. He is getting bigger and handling things a lot better. He loves to be outside so luckily camping was a success and I hope we have more camping trips like this one!
With everything that has happened with Ashton I sometimes feel that I have lost my life. My days now consist of feeding him, pumping so I can feed him later, washing all the bottles, changing diapers, and battling him to take naps. Then we start all over :) Because he is a little fussy we have a hard time going to church or to a restaurant and I really didn't even want to go camping because I didn't know if he would do alright but I am realizing more and more that we have to continue to live our lives and he will be ok. If he's not then we pack up and go home but I don't want to live my life worrying about how Ashton will react. I just want to do things and find out. He is getting bigger and handling things a lot better. He loves to be outside so luckily camping was a success and I hope we have more camping trips like this one!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Four Months!!
Four Months! My baby is already 4
months old- I can’t believe how fast time goes. It has been a very hard yet
wonderful 4 months. I think back to the day he was born and I had no idea what
was in store for us! Ashton came into this world wide eyed and ready to see
everything and he has never changed! He has been so fun and the perfect
addition to our family.
I knew that having a baby would be
hard. I knew that babies cry. I knew that I would be sleep deprived. But I had
no idea how hard it would get. When Ashton was about 3 weeks old he began to
cry A LOT. It wasn’t really normal crying because he was cry every time he ate
and then he would cry after every feeding. He would arch his back, get really
stiff and just scream. I knew something was wrong and started to do some
research. Everything pointed to reflux. We took him to see the pediatrician and
she diagnosed him with reflux. We began medication- Zantac- and did everything
you should do with a baby with reflux. We held him up 20 minutes after he ate,
he slept elevated, etc. He seemed to get worse so we tried Prevacid instead. We
saw very little change but continued to treat him and just hope that he would
outgrow this problem. He cried and cried every day and nothing we did worked.
He absolutely hated to eat. He never nursed well- he would start to eat and
after a few swallows he would pull off screaming. I knew he was hungry so we
continued to try and he just fought it more and more. He struggled for months
and months. I took him to the pediatrician several times telling them that
something was very wrong. Many times I got the response- it’s colic and he will
outgrow it. Something inside of me knew that it wasn’t just “colic.” Because he
pulled on and off when he nursed I became very sore and had to pump and put him
on a bottle until I could heal. My supply went way down and I began to
supplement with formula. As soon as I put him on formula he broke out in eczema
all over his body. We tried to give him hyper allergenic formula but it tasted
so bad he wouldn’t have anything to do with it. We tried soy and he broke out
in little red dots all over. After 3 ½ months I had had it and took him in
demanding some help. The pediatrician had no idea what to do but agreed to
refer him to an allergist and GI doctor. I had been taking him to physical
therapy for his torticollis and the therapist saw me try to feed him and she
immediately knew something was not right. She got me in to see an occupational
therapist who also knew there was a big problem. She was amazing and got us in
to see a doctor a Primary Children’s Hospital to do a swallow study. We were
able to watch him eat and soon saw the problem. Ashton would swallow him milk
but couldn’t get it down safely to his stomach. He would drink and it would
pool up by his vocal cords, choking and drowning him. No wonder he hated to
eat!! He was choking every time I tried to feed him and became distressed. This
caused a lot of stomach problems. We were told to thicken his milk and it has
made all the difference! I have a happy
baby now who eats with little problems!! We also got into the allergist and
found out that Ashton is allergic to eggs and peanuts. Taking those out of my
diet will hopefully help his poor eczema. After seeing the GI doctor we will be
doing more tests to make sure that the food allergies haven’t caused more
problems inside his body. We will take him in and they will put him under to
take biopsies of his neck, stomach, and colon. Then they will put a probe in
him and we will stay there over night and watch him eat to make sure he isn’t
refluxing on top of his swallowing problems. It will be hard but good to know
if there is anything else going on. I am just so grateful that we finally got
some answers! I knew there was something wrong and finally after 4 months I
have my happy baby back! He still has stomach issues but he eats like a champ
now! The past four months have been the most challenging of my life. Watching
your child suffer in pain is by far the hardest thing I have experienced. But I
have learned that a mother’s love is so strong. I would do anything for this
little man! I can’t nurse him anymore because I have to thicken his milk but I
can’t put him on formula, because he is allergic to what is in formula so I
have to pump and bottle feed it. But I can’t eat anything- no dairy, soy,
gluten, eggs, peanuts, and now maybe corn. I only eat meat, vegetables, and
fruit. But I would eat that the rest of my life for him if I had to!! I love
him so much and am eternally grateful for him and the things I have learned the
last few months! Despite the problems he has had, he smiled and giggled for us and
tried to be a happy baby! He is a strong little spirit and he is definitely
special!
At four months Ashton:
-
- Is finally content and happy most of
the time. He wants and likes to eat!
-
-loves to lay on his back and grab
his feet- even sucks on his long toes!
-
-pulls his pacifier out and gets
really mad- but now he is getting really good at putting it back in his mouth!
It’s pretty impressive actually!
-
- Makes lots of noises and loves to
talk to us
-
-Smiles and giggles lots! He has the
cutest giggle ever!
-
-Loves the bath and kicks and plays
every time he gets a bath
-
-Tries to imitate me when I make
faces at him or stick out my tongue
-
-Loves to ride in the stroller and
swing
-
-HATES the car seat with all his
heart! We keep him entertained with the ipad
-
-Is starting to enjoy tummy time and
rocks it- his neck is getting so strong- he even moves his legs like he is
trying to crawl
-
-Rolls over from tummy to back. He
went from his back to tummy once but it scared him and has never done it again!
-
-Tries to sit up out of his car seat
or bouncy chair. He wants to sit up and see everything!
-
-Has very ticklish feet- Derek
tickles him and he giggles and giggles!
-
- Weighs 14 pounds 4 ounces and is 26
inches long! 90th percentile in length!!
-
The past 4 months have been the most
challenging 4 months of my life but by far the happiest and most precious.
Because of a hard recovery I got to lay and cuddle my new baby. Because of his
struggles I have held him and bounced him and bonded with him more than I would
have if he was content to be put down. Because we struggled so much I learned
that God does hear and answer our prayers but it is on his timetable. Luckily
he has given us the Priesthood power to bless and comfort us. I knew that
Ashton would eventually be healthy and happy because of a blessing he was
given. But I had to trust God and have faith in his timing. There were many
days where I felt mad that Heavenly Father would not help my baby feel better
but I had to remember that the things we go through are for our good. I have
learned so much through our trials and I have just come to love my sweet angel
baby more and more every single day! Ashton is my joy!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
My Angel Named Ashton
I wanted to share the story of how our angel baby arrived. This little man has been a miracle from the very beginning. I was devistated after we lost our first little poppyseed and found it hard to be happy. I just wanted to start our family and losing that baby was one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience. Life just got dark and hard for me but this little baby brought light back into my life when I found out he was there. He has been a blessing to me since the minute I knew about him.
Getting him here was not easy. I guess we just made it too comfortable for him inside because he did not want to come!! As we got closer to our due date I became extremely excited and extremely ready to get him out! I had been pregnant for almost a year and I was very uncomfortable. I had everything ready at home and my sub plans were finished so I was more than ready to have him here. We got closer and closer to our due date but as I went to the doctor I wasn't really progressing. I was getting very discouraged and our due date came and went without a baby. The next day I went to have an ultrasound to check the size of the baby and based on their measurements they predicted he was 9 pounds! I was terrified but still had not progressed. I think my doctor was as terrified for me as I was because he got it approved to have me induced the next day at 8 p.m. My giant baby was coming whether he wanted to or not!
I got up and worked so the day would go by faster and then went home and scrubbed my house and got our bags all packed. After a shower and dinner we were ready to go have a baby! At this point I was starting to feel stronger contractions and was getting really nervous. I wanted to quickly get my sister-in-law Liz a birthday present so we ran to Target to get some nail polish. When I was checking out the checker was a young boy and he looked at me and asked when I was due. I told him that we were actually on our way to the hospital to have him now and his eyes got huge! He asked me why I was there and where my husband was. We couldn't find a tag on an item and I told him I could run and get another like it and he laughed and said I was crazy. He said if anyone had to run he would! He wished me luck and we were on our way! It was a funny experience before I went into labor!
When we arrived at the hospital they got me in a room and changed but then came in to tell us that there had been a mix up and they didn't know I was actually coming. My nurse was in the OR and would be there for about an hour. So we had to wait for an hour and a half just to get started. It was so hard to just sit and wait but she soon came in and got the process started. They had planned on giving me medicine first just to thin me out and then we could start pitocin but after getting me hooked up to the machines they found that my contractoins were only 3 minutes apart. She said I would have come in on my own that night if I hadn't been induced. I got to skip the thinning part and go right to Pit. We got it started at 10:00 p.m. and tried to get some rest. Contractions started to get really strong and close together and by 4:00 a.m. my water had broken and I was starting to progress! In order to get some sleep I got the epidural and tried to enjoy the process. Well time passed and progress slowed way down. Every time the nurses came in they said it would be another couple of hours and every couple of hours we got the same update. My doctor came to check on us throughout the day but by 7:00 p.m I was still only at an 8 and still not ready. I was starting to swell really bad and I was exhausted. The doctor explained that our risk was higher to have a natural delivery than a c section and he recommended that we get the baby out soon with a c section. He didn't think I would be able to get the baby through and I would most likely tear horribly because of the swelling. I was devistated that I couldn't do it on my own but I didn't want to put me or my baby at risk. I knew going into it that a c section was an option but I still was not prepared for it. I wanted that experience of labor and delivery and the option of holding my baby the minute he was born. I know that all things happen for a reason and I was just ready to meet my little man. They quickly got everything prepared and ready and wheeled me into the operating room. I don't think I have ever been so nervous and excited all at the same time. Derek and my mom were able to come in with to support me and greet our little baby into this world. It was such a strange feeling to be awake and hear everything they were doing to me but not able to feel any of it. The doctor explained everything that he was doing and that was a little much for me. Derek loved watching everything. Finally they got my little man out but they didn't show him to me like they said they would so I became very worried. I hadn't heard him cry so panic hit. Soon after I heard it - that sweet little cry was the best sound I have ever heard! He weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was healthy and very happy. Derek and my mom got to see him and show me pictures as they stitched me up and I couldn't wait to meet him. He only cried for a minute and then just looked around. He was so alert and content and just wanted to explore this new world of his. I started to go into shock and was shivering out of control so they had to up my medication. I don't remember a lot after that. It was a scary but amazing experience. After they got baby and I all put back together they set him in my arms by my side and we went back to the room. My family was all waiting for us and said he just looked so alert and awake as we came in. His big beautiful eyes were wide open. The flashes of the cameras started! He became the most photographed child at that moment!
Although I don't remember everything that happened after the c section because of medication I do remember the feeling and spirit that entered the room as my sweet baby entered this life. There was such a peace that came over me when I found out he was here and love filled me like I have never felt before. As I looked at him for the first time I couln't belive you could love someone that much so quickly! He has such a strong special spirit about him. Becoming a mother was a hard process and made for the longest day of my life but such an amazing experience. I love my little Ashton more than I can even express and Derek and I couldn't be happier to have this sweet baby in our home. He is just so close to heaven- he's our angel!
Getting him here was not easy. I guess we just made it too comfortable for him inside because he did not want to come!! As we got closer to our due date I became extremely excited and extremely ready to get him out! I had been pregnant for almost a year and I was very uncomfortable. I had everything ready at home and my sub plans were finished so I was more than ready to have him here. We got closer and closer to our due date but as I went to the doctor I wasn't really progressing. I was getting very discouraged and our due date came and went without a baby. The next day I went to have an ultrasound to check the size of the baby and based on their measurements they predicted he was 9 pounds! I was terrified but still had not progressed. I think my doctor was as terrified for me as I was because he got it approved to have me induced the next day at 8 p.m. My giant baby was coming whether he wanted to or not!
I got up and worked so the day would go by faster and then went home and scrubbed my house and got our bags all packed. After a shower and dinner we were ready to go have a baby! At this point I was starting to feel stronger contractions and was getting really nervous. I wanted to quickly get my sister-in-law Liz a birthday present so we ran to Target to get some nail polish. When I was checking out the checker was a young boy and he looked at me and asked when I was due. I told him that we were actually on our way to the hospital to have him now and his eyes got huge! He asked me why I was there and where my husband was. We couldn't find a tag on an item and I told him I could run and get another like it and he laughed and said I was crazy. He said if anyone had to run he would! He wished me luck and we were on our way! It was a funny experience before I went into labor!
When we arrived at the hospital they got me in a room and changed but then came in to tell us that there had been a mix up and they didn't know I was actually coming. My nurse was in the OR and would be there for about an hour. So we had to wait for an hour and a half just to get started. It was so hard to just sit and wait but she soon came in and got the process started. They had planned on giving me medicine first just to thin me out and then we could start pitocin but after getting me hooked up to the machines they found that my contractoins were only 3 minutes apart. She said I would have come in on my own that night if I hadn't been induced. I got to skip the thinning part and go right to Pit. We got it started at 10:00 p.m. and tried to get some rest. Contractions started to get really strong and close together and by 4:00 a.m. my water had broken and I was starting to progress! In order to get some sleep I got the epidural and tried to enjoy the process. Well time passed and progress slowed way down. Every time the nurses came in they said it would be another couple of hours and every couple of hours we got the same update. My doctor came to check on us throughout the day but by 7:00 p.m I was still only at an 8 and still not ready. I was starting to swell really bad and I was exhausted. The doctor explained that our risk was higher to have a natural delivery than a c section and he recommended that we get the baby out soon with a c section. He didn't think I would be able to get the baby through and I would most likely tear horribly because of the swelling. I was devistated that I couldn't do it on my own but I didn't want to put me or my baby at risk. I knew going into it that a c section was an option but I still was not prepared for it. I wanted that experience of labor and delivery and the option of holding my baby the minute he was born. I know that all things happen for a reason and I was just ready to meet my little man. They quickly got everything prepared and ready and wheeled me into the operating room. I don't think I have ever been so nervous and excited all at the same time. Derek and my mom were able to come in with to support me and greet our little baby into this world. It was such a strange feeling to be awake and hear everything they were doing to me but not able to feel any of it. The doctor explained everything that he was doing and that was a little much for me. Derek loved watching everything. Finally they got my little man out but they didn't show him to me like they said they would so I became very worried. I hadn't heard him cry so panic hit. Soon after I heard it - that sweet little cry was the best sound I have ever heard! He weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was healthy and very happy. Derek and my mom got to see him and show me pictures as they stitched me up and I couldn't wait to meet him. He only cried for a minute and then just looked around. He was so alert and content and just wanted to explore this new world of his. I started to go into shock and was shivering out of control so they had to up my medication. I don't remember a lot after that. It was a scary but amazing experience. After they got baby and I all put back together they set him in my arms by my side and we went back to the room. My family was all waiting for us and said he just looked so alert and awake as we came in. His big beautiful eyes were wide open. The flashes of the cameras started! He became the most photographed child at that moment!
Although I don't remember everything that happened after the c section because of medication I do remember the feeling and spirit that entered the room as my sweet baby entered this life. There was such a peace that came over me when I found out he was here and love filled me like I have never felt before. As I looked at him for the first time I couln't belive you could love someone that much so quickly! He has such a strong special spirit about him. Becoming a mother was a hard process and made for the longest day of my life but such an amazing experience. I love my little Ashton more than I can even express and Derek and I couldn't be happier to have this sweet baby in our home. He is just so close to heaven- he's our angel!
22 hours of labor and still no baby was one of the most discouraging moments ever but I had loving family by my side the entire journey! I am so blessed to have such an amazing family!
Derek tried to cheer me up by making my ice chips a game. Every time I caught one we went higher and higher. I would say we did pretty good- that is true talent! I was grateful we could find laughter during a hard day! Love my sweet husband!
It was love at first sight!
My handsome boys! Derek is such a great daddy!
They placed him by my side and he just looked around exploring this crazy world! He is a special little spirit!
This was an experience we will never forget!
I love how he holds his cute little hands together.
My angel baby Ashton!
He looks a lot like dad.
He was just so awake and content from the minute he entered this world!
We are going to be best friends!
Meet the Steiners!!
Our forever family!
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