Come What Mae and Love It: March 2013

I wanted to share the story of how our angel baby arrived. This little man has been a miracle from the very beginning. I was devistated after we lost our first little poppyseed and found it hard to be happy. I just wanted to start our family and losing that baby was one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience. Life just got dark and hard for me but this little baby brought light back into my life when I found out he was there. He has been a blessing to me since the minute I knew about him.

Getting him here was not easy. I guess we just made it too comfortable for him inside because he did not want to come!! As we got closer to our due date I became extremely excited and extremely ready to get him out! I had been pregnant for almost a year and I was very uncomfortable. I had everything ready at home and my sub plans were finished so I was more than ready to have him here. We got closer and closer to our due date but as I went to the doctor I wasn't really progressing. I was getting very discouraged and our due date came and went without a baby. The next day I went to have an ultrasound to check the size of the baby and based on their measurements they predicted he was 9 pounds! I was terrified but still had not progressed. I think my doctor was as terrified for me as I was because he got it approved to have me induced the next day at 8 p.m. My giant baby was coming whether he wanted to or not!

I got up and worked so the day would go by faster and then went home and scrubbed my house and got our bags all packed. After a shower and dinner we were ready to go have a baby! At this point I was starting to feel stronger contractions and was getting really nervous. I wanted to quickly get my sister-in-law Liz a birthday present so we ran to Target to get some nail polish. When I was checking out the checker was a young boy and he looked at me and asked when I was due. I told him that we were actually on our way to the hospital to have him now and his eyes got huge! He asked me why I was there and where my husband was. We couldn't find a tag on an item and I told him I could run and get another like it and he laughed and said I was crazy. He said if anyone had to run he would! He wished me luck and we were on our way! It was a funny experience before I went into labor!

When we arrived at the hospital they got me in a room and changed but then came in to tell us that there had been a mix up and they didn't know I was actually coming. My nurse was in the OR and would be there for about an hour. So we had to wait for an hour and a half just to get started. It was so hard to just sit and wait but she soon came in and got the process started. They had planned on giving me medicine first just to thin me out and then we could start pitocin but after getting me hooked up to the machines they found that my contractoins were only 3 minutes apart. She said I would have come in on my own that night if I hadn't been induced. I got to skip the thinning part and go right to Pit. We got it started at 10:00 p.m. and tried to get some rest. Contractions started to get really strong and close together and by 4:00 a.m. my water had broken and I was starting to progress! In order to get some sleep I got the epidural and tried to enjoy the process. Well time passed and progress slowed way down. Every time the nurses came in they said it would be another couple of hours and every couple of hours we got the same update. My doctor came to check on us throughout the day but by 7:00 p.m I was still only at an 8 and still not ready. I was starting to swell really bad and I was exhausted. The doctor explained that our risk was higher to have a natural delivery than a c section and he recommended that we get the baby out soon with a c section. He didn't think I would be able to get the baby through and I would most likely tear horribly because of the swelling. I was devistated that I couldn't do it on my own but I didn't want to put me or my baby at risk. I knew going into it that a c section was an option but I still was not prepared for it. I wanted that experience of labor and delivery and the option of holding my baby the minute he was born. I know that all things happen for a reason and I was just ready to meet my little man. They quickly got everything prepared and ready and wheeled me into the operating room. I don't think I have ever been so nervous and excited all at the same time. Derek and my mom were able to come in with to support me and greet our little baby into this world. It was such a strange feeling to be awake and hear everything they were doing to me but not able to feel any of it. The doctor explained everything that he was doing and that was a little much for me. Derek loved watching everything. Finally they got my little man out but they didn't show him to me like they said they would so I became very worried. I hadn't heard him cry so panic hit. Soon after I heard it - that sweet little cry was the best sound I have ever heard! He weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was healthy and very happy. Derek and my mom got to see him and show me pictures as they stitched me up and I couldn't wait to meet him. He only cried for a minute and then just looked around. He was so alert and content and just wanted to explore this new world of his. I started to go into shock and was shivering out of control so they had to up my medication. I don't remember a lot after that. It was a scary but amazing experience. After they got baby and I all put back together they set him in my arms by my side and we went back to the room. My family was all waiting for us and said he just looked so alert and awake as we came in. His big beautiful eyes were wide open. The flashes of the cameras started! He became the most photographed child at that moment!

Although I don't remember everything that happened after the c section because of medication I do remember the feeling and spirit that entered the room as my sweet baby entered this life. There was such a peace that came over me when I found out he was here and love filled me like I have never felt before. As I looked at him for the first time I couln't belive you could love someone that much so quickly! He has such a strong special spirit about him. Becoming a mother was a hard process and made for the longest day of my life but such an amazing experience. I love my little Ashton more than I can even express and Derek and I couldn't be happier to have this sweet baby in our home. He is just so close to heaven- he's our angel!

22 hours of labor and still no baby was one of the most discouraging moments ever but I had loving family by my side the entire journey! I am so blessed to have such an amazing family!

Derek tried to cheer me up by making my ice chips a game. Every time I caught one we went higher and higher. I would say we did pretty good- that is true talent! I was grateful we could find laughter during a hard day! Love my sweet husband!